“No More F9” by Micheal Ace

No more f9

“How I wish I have one ‘C’, the best of my grades was ‘E8′”

Tunde,John,Daniel,Idris and i including Joel were the members of “G6”,the least graded students in test and exams,the dullest student of all times,the most troublesome and arrogant group in ‘Tailored Minds College’

When it comes to breaking staff-room’s windows with ball,jumping fences,sneaking out of school gate,bulling juniors and the seniors wey no get liver. we were Non-arguably the best.

Doctor Emmanuel will always advise us,he was the most respected principal of all times,he was a catholic,he had made it an obligation to waste our time with sermon every morning on the assembly. Our hisses and frowns,unnecessary claps,insane shouts were nothing like distractions to him.

This pot belle man will place his hand on his belt in an akimbo manner. He will dance unconsciously ‘To’ and ‘Fro’ the assembly platform, had it been he was a female, he would have been the graphical symbol of the Video ‘Anaconda’ done by Nicki Minaj.

This man called us one day,he was on the plate of beans with bread,am very sure if this man happen to end in Hell-fire and he mistakenly pollute the air,the Devil will be left with no choice than to hand him a match and petrol to start his own fire elsewhere.

He began as we sat facing him…

“Life is not a bed of hibiscus,let me tell you a simple story”

He took some time to finish his lunch then he started the history of his life…

I was the dullest student of all times,
When Dr Emmanuel made this statement,joel looked my way and made a chuckle.
Dr. Emmanuel continued
My father would knee me down and rain the thunder of prayers on me,he would bless my scalp with spray of anointed saliva. But all could not stop me from being the last in class.

My mother would make a diagonal pattern with blade on my skin,she would put in some grinded pepper,her facial expression towards me is actually more terrifying than the scorch of the pepper as I would scream like a virgin being raped by ‘Mark Henry’.

But all could only reduce my joy when I finally came second to the last in class.

at this time,we were becoming more serious because his story was becoming interesting,he was now on his feet,so no chance of side-talks again,we were absolutely attentive.

Dr. Emmanuel continued,
It was this year when I wanted to sit for my 8th WAEC Examination that I met a change-around.
I was watching the news that night after being beaten by my mother,she had asked me to do some dishes which my wicked dull brain forgot to remind me, I was lost at the news of Barcelona being eaten up by the terrible hat trick of ‘C Ronaldo, then I never knew whether its a broadcast or ‘words on marble’.
I just saw written on the screen…….

“Do not chase Success, go after consistency then success will come for you”

That night I switched off the television as soon as I saw this message,my mind roamed about the world of procrastination.
How I postpone all scheduled works and assignments for ‘Later’
I realized I was the witch behind my predicament and since that day I rescheduled my life and I became consistent in my studying. not only in studying but also in all activities. I forgot about the dream of success.

I will always say to myself anytime am about to step in to the exam hall…
“I am consistent,No more F9”
All other candidates had already marked my face but that was nothing because even the Body of WAEC had registered my name as a regular customer,I was very popular in the business.

After some months the result came out,I was sitting behind my father’s laptop trying to check my result,
Ever since i was informed the result has been released,the water closet had never spent an hour without welcoming my butt. I was nervously nervous,all in nervousness.
I checked the result at last and to Devil be the shame,the least grade was C4.
No More F9

After all the dancing of my mother,the singing of my father,the horrible laughter coming from my mouth,I compared my other seven results with this last one and I saw that stuffs like
C5 meaning “you try small”
C6 meaning “God save you”
D7 meaning “chai,money don burn”
E8 meaning “you go try again ni o”
F9 meaning “baba,na you gangan be failure”
were all missing.

My mothers beating did a little,my father’s prayers did much,but the consistency competed all.

As the Principal finished his story,I couldn’t find myself again,it was like I was lost in this world of thought.
I went into deep thinking alongside my gangs and it was the “gban gban gban” of the bell that awoken us.
Its time to go home.
Dr. Emmanuel shook us one after the other and told us being arrogant and troublesome will only fetch us a dream of success and no pinch of its reality.
He said,be consistent in the goodwills you embark on. that is just the secret to success.

Actually I did like my principal on my Exam days and when I checked my result,my altering was not “No more F9” like my principals.
Mine was “Nothing like F9”.I made it all.

Watch out for another story from your one and only Micheal Ace.

Micheal Ace


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