Go ahead, let yourself have a good cry (or ten
or twenty). Skip showering and sulk on the
sofa. Bitch about him incessantly to your best
friend. Eat your weight in chocolate ice
cream. It’s cliche for a reason — because it’s
what works.
It’s also true that time heals all wounds … as
long as you let it. Hays lists a few behaviours
women pull when they are heartbroken and
how you should avoid them at all cost:

  1. Over-share your biz: There’s no need for a
    big Facebook announcement about your
    breakup, and there’s even less reason to post
    depressing, angry or threatening status
    updates. Nothing screams “I am pathetic”
    like YouTube videos of broody breakup
    ballads. Dignity: It’s worth keeping.

  2. Bed the first boy who offers: We know
    they say the best way to get over someone is
    to get under someone new. Odds are,
    however, that you’re not picking up a nice
    guy at the supermarket to bring home but
    rather making the call after your inhibitions
    have been lowered by a few cocktails. This is
    a recipe for disaster, and by that, we mean
    general day-after self- loathing.

  3. Retail therapy, anyone?: There aren’t
    many problems in this life that a hot new
    pair of jeans or sexy new shoes can’t fix.
    Sure a shopping spree will fill your sad brain
    with happy endorphins — until your credit
    card bill arrives and you realize you can’t fill
    up your gas tank. Keep any shopping sprees
    within reason, and remember that chocolate
    stimulates endorphins are loads cheaper than
    Choos.

    1. Call or text your ex: You were together
      24/7 and shared pretty much everything
      about your lives. Now who are you going to
      tell about the broken ice maker and that your
      favorite neighborhood pizza joint is closing?
      Quitting communicating cold turkey is the
      best way to go, at least during the first few
      weeks or months. Trust us, you’ll get him out
      of your system faster this way.
  4. Stalk, either cyber or IRL: Unfriend,
    unfollow, delete. Do whatever it takes to
    keep from tracking his every step and smile.
    Don’t kid yourself into believing you’ll be
    friends one day. Truth is, he’s moving on and
    pretty soon his status updates will include his
    new someone special. Ouch, that’s gonna
    hurt. Remember: Out of sight, out of mind.
    So don’t drive past his home or office 10
    times a day either.

  5. Try to get revenge: Yes, you have nude
    pics of him on your laptop. Yes, you know the
    password to his bank account. Yes, your
    phones are linked on the cloud. This does not
    mean you should share the pics, change his
    passwords or delete all his contacts. File
    these petty actions in the “feel really stupid
    later” category, especially when he tells
    everyone you know what you did.

  6. Break stuff: Don’t even think about
    throwing your phone across the room. That
    little move will only cost you (as will other
    forms of violence against objects). If you just
    must break something, pick up a set of cheap
    dishes at a thrift store and smash them. But
    you’re still sticking with the messy cleanup.

    1. Oh, and don’t key his car: You know
      better.
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